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July 25, 2008


I agree that it would be difficult to work with your spouse. I adore my husband but I appreciate that we've each got our own thing going. Then again, why better to help you out at work than the person who knows you best?

I think I could do this with my boyfriend. It may be because we're doing the long-distance thing for now and I just miss him more than I might if we lived together. But more than that, I think we could do this because we're quite different in important ways but share the same core values. I'm more big picture and more ambitious. He's very detail-oriented and very supportive. He doesn't need to be the leader or in the spotlight. In this way, I think we could really do amazing work together. We've talked about starting a business together and we already blog together (although I do much more with the blog than he does and we're fine with that).

What I couldn't do is play a supporting role in someone's dream that was the same as mine. If it were a different dream and I was still fulfilled doing my thing while also lending a hand, I'd be happy to do that. But I know myself well enough to know that if I were, for instance, not writing but supporting another writer's career, that would be painful. But if my boyfriend wanted to be a painter or start a construction firm--something I don't personally want, I could totally help out.

Erika and Joselle, it's nice to hear that you have such strong relationships with your significant other that you would consider this. Joselle - what's the address for your blog? I'd love to check it out!

Hi Alexandra,

The blog is called Mutual Menu (


Husband and I had kids, started a business and moved house all at the same time. A recipe for stress!

However, it was more his business and I've supported him as much as possible for 5 years. It has been difficult. It's especially hard to switch off and we often take our work home.

It's been a great experience and has allowed me to discover new things. I'm now involved in other opportunities, but continue to support him in many ways. We still bring our work home (!), but this time it's my work just as much as his.

(I should also add he has supported me in my new stuff as well!)

Thanks, Rosie. Sounds like you are really exemplary of the modern work/life balance phenomenon. Congratulations on all you've been able to accomplish. What's your husband's business, and what is your role in it?

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