I recently had my second child, and so lately I’ve been a bit more active on birth boards, or online discussion forums related to pregnancy, childbirth, and child rearing. One question that pops up all the time on these boards is: “should I tell my boss I am pregnant, and if so, when?”
I’m not going to beat around the bush on this one. Although we’re lucky to have the Pregnancy Discrimination Act, which states that employers can’t refuse to hire a woman because she is pregnant, can’t fire her for being pregnant, and can’t treat her differently because of her pregnancy, the truth is that employers disregard the law every day by attempting to get rid of pregnant employees.
Why would they do such a thing? The cost of medical benefits and family leave is one reason, and concern for company welfare is another. From the employer’s perspective, a woman might not return from maternity leave, and even if she does, she might be less effective at her job once she has a child to worry about.
What’s the solution? First, don’t tell your boss you’re pregnant until it’s physically impossible to hide it. You want to maintain control over the situation for as long as possible, and also, god forbid you should lose the pregnancy in the first trimester, you will want to spare yourself the embarrassment and hurt of having to inform your manager and colleagues.
Once you break the news, stay alert to signs of discrimination. If they appear, nip the situation in the bud right away. Tell your manager that you feel that you’re being treated unfairly because you’re pregnant, and put it in writing via e-mail. Having these claims out in the open may make your boss nervous about future legal action and cause him to backpedal, which could very well save your job.
This post was originally published on Intuit's Quickbase blog.
I have to respectfully disagree with your advice and say I believe this decision should be made on a case by case basis. I am 24 weeks pregnant and found out the week before I started my new job so I told them immediately. This was my personal choice but I did not want my employer thinking I planned this or was trying to take advantage of my new job in any way. Your advice sounds like you've had a bad experience in the past, and if that's true, it's certainly unfortunate. But not all employers look down on pregnant employees so I think you need to gauge your employer and your relationship with your supervisor. Had I waited until the second trimester to tell my employer that I was pregnant, I am certain they would not have received the news as well. So in my case it worked out great but I realize it may not have for others. This should be a decision made based on your personal situation at work.
Advising people to stay alert to signs of discrimination sounds like you're looking for trouble. Again, it sounds as if you had a bad experience at one point. Not all employers are evil and certainly those that discriminate should be punished but it seems like you're coming from a place of assuming discrimination is going to happen.
Posted by: Christine | June 17, 2011 at 12:51 PM
@christine: Thanks so much for your detailed feedback, it's much appreciated. I didn't have a bad experience myself, but I've heard a lot of horror stories. It is definitely a decision that should be made on an individual basis, but I think it's often to be better safe than sorry. Best of luck with your new little one!
Posted by: Alexandra Levit | August 23, 2011 at 10:51 PM
I think this is a big issue, not only with rresevists, but with active duty spouses too for the same reasons. Employers don't want to invest time in training spouses when they probably will be leaving in the next 2-4 years. This is a perfect example of why portable careers are so important.
Posted by: Amalia | March 02, 2012 at 03:28 AM