Alexandra Levit's Water Cooler Wisdom

Rule #1 in Business: It’s Not About You

Every day, I get at least three requests from people who want to write guest posts on my personal blog.  I have given up responding to these people.

Why?  Because looking at my blog for 30 seconds will tell you that I don’t do guest posts. I have never done guest posts.  I may include tips from other experts, but the writing is always my own.

Yet people continue to ask me, because THEY want to do a guest post.  They are making this initial interaction all about them.  It doesn’t matter what I want or need.

This is not a good strategy for building relationships with people, especially managers and co-workers who have no vested interest in doing what you say.

What’s in it for them?

You might have heard the story of the salesman who greets a prospect by announcing, “I want to tell you about a great new product that has a thousand new features, all for the low price of…” The prospect stops listening as soon as she hears the words I want and slams the door in the salesman’s face.

One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to enter a negotiation or interaction with someone by expressly stating what you want. As I said in this post back in 2010, no one cares – they want to know what’s in it for them.

For my advice on how to proceed, check out the full post on Intuit's Fast Track blog.

Reader Question: Dealing with a Micromanaging Peer

This question was submitted by a reader at the Fast Track blog:

I’d like to get your input about how to deal with a coworker who micromanages laterally. I am a manager, and one of my peers, another manager, often takes it upon herself to tell the other managers how they should run their departments (even though we haven’t asked and it’s not within her realm of responsibility). It doesn’t happen all the time, but every few months or so she’ll go on a tirade and drive all of the managers crazy. For example, she’ll get on a dress-code policy kick and scrutinize every article of clothing staff wear, and then send repeated emails to department managers saying that it needs to be dealt with. The most recent time this happened, when I went to check on the “offensive” clothing, they fell completely within the code — perhaps she just didn’t like what the person was wearing?

She tells us which staff members need disciplining (when they don’t), tells us how to deal with clients, recites well-known procedures to us over and over, and will even go so far as to reorganize our service desks because she doesn’t like how they look! And I don’t mean just a little — I’m talking moving computers to a completely different location, and leaving post-it notes everywhere about why something isn’t right or shouldn’t be the way it is.

Usually I try to see where she’s coming from and consider whether she has a valid point, but often it’s just trivial things that don’t matter or don’t make sense. I’ve tried ignoring her, giving in to her, and being firm and telling her why my department chooses to do things a certain way and that we won’t be changing it. Nothing seems to help. I think she acts this way because she cares about our organization and likes to see things run smoothly, but it’s too much at times, and ultimately not her responsibility. Our organization functions well and overall our staff have good morale. I am perfectly capable of handling my team and, if I do say so myself, do a darn good job of it. How can I get her to back off when she gets like this?

Here was my advice:

I think it’s time you had a formal sit down with the micromanaging peer.  Ignoring her might be the path of least resistance, but at this point it sounds like her behavior is negatively impacting the productivity of your team – and this is a problem that’s yours to remedy.

Ask her to lunch.  If it isn’t completely out of the ordinary, go offsite so you won’t risk being interrupted or joined by another teammate.  Tell her there’s something important you need to talk to her about, and preface the discussion with a comment along the lines of what you said in your e-mail to us:  “I admire how much you care about our organization and I know that you want to see it run smoothly.”  This will help to mitigate her natural response (i.e. defensiveness) to what you’re about to say.

Next, tell her that while you appreciate her input on your team’s discipline, dress, etc. you are capable of managing these issues yourself and that you’d prefer it if she would confine her improvements to her own group.  Use a “this is what’s best for the organization” type of argument, such as “Right now my staff feels that it’s getting confusing cross-direction, and their work is suffering.”  Try to be assertive rather than wishy-washy.  You are a manager for a reason and your judgment should be trusted.

If this doesn’t work and she continues to interfere and wreck havoc around the office, you should talk to your boss on the down low.   Just remember to be solution-oriented and bottom-line focused in your comments, as the last thing you want to do is come across like you are whining or complaining.  You are not a tattletale and this is not a mere personality conflict.  Be clear that you are genuinely concerned that because of this woman’s actions, the organization is not operating as optimally as it could be.

For guidance from Fast Track's other amazing experts, check out the full post.

Drinking Too Much Kool-Aid Can Be Dangerous

Anyone who has worked in an organization for longer than a few months has heard the expression “drinking the company Kool-Aid.”

Even though Kool-Aid isn’t as popular as it used to be and may well end up with the same fate as Twinkie, the comparison still resonates. To drink the Kool-Aid means you believe in the organizational culture so much that you are willing and able to spout its principles without thinking, and that you ignore any evidence supporting the notion your company’s way of doing things isn’t working as well as it could. 

This is dangerous.

I once worked with a small company that was convinced its new accounting practices were revolutionary in the industry. Management spent a lot of money to get an automated system up and running, and drilled employees mercilessly on how to use it properly. The company got a great deal of incredible PR around the initiative. The system was easy to use! It saved tons of time! And new accounting was just the first step in a phased cultural initiative that would leverage state-of-the-art technology to free employees up to do what they did best!

There was only one problem. It didn’t work—at least not precisely enough. It turned out that some of the complex accounting issues the company faced required a human brain to sort. But the company was so busy touting its brilliance that it took numerous customer complaints to realize what was happening.

When you have a terrific culture or are in the midst of changing your culture to become terrific, it’s easy to overlook data that doesn’t support what you’re trying to do—and that’s where things get risky. A healthy organizational culture must be in touch with its thinking and have the ability to make rational decisions.

For suggestions on questions to ask to remain in touch with reality, have a look at the AMEX Open Forum.

 

It's Time to Tip Over Those Sacred Cows!

I have to admit, when my colleague Jake Breeden told me the title of his new book, I had to look up what it meant.  But once I did, it made perfect sense.  Jake’s book, Tipping Sacred Cows, is about the hidden beliefs that keep us from achieving our true potential.  While they are mostly virtuous, they can also be dangerous because they are rarely questioned.  Some of them really resonated with me, and I bet they will with you as well:

Balance

This value is often misconstrued to mean constant compromise, but bold leaders must make tough choices. And when we as leaders move from doing one thing well to many things poorly, our organizations suffer. Leaders who hide behind balance as an excuse to avoid taking a stand for an unpopular position do themselves and their companies a disservice. In short, when balance encourages us to say yes to everything all at once, we end up saying no to leadership.

Collaboration

Too often collaboration is automatic, meaning that we work on something together by default instead of making the purposeful, conscious choice to do so.  The default state of working should be working alone; leaders should collaborate only when they must.  Depending on your role, that may mean a significant part of your job requires collaboration.  But ask yourself the question: does this work really need more than me?

Creativity

This value can backfire because of a leader’s need to add her own ideas.  Adopting someone else’s best practice doesn’t give you the same sense of pride and accomplishment as generating a new best practice.  Creating a needless innovation feels better to the innovator than does creating nothing at all. In such cases, creativity has stopped being a tool used in service of larger goals, and has become the very personal source of a leader’s narcissistic needs.

For more sacred cows you should consider tipping, check out Intuit's Fast Track blog.

Help - My Co-Worker Can't Say No!

Over at Intuit's Fast Track blog, a reader wrote us with the following question:

Here’s the question, with our experts’ responses below:

My manager quit earlier this year, leaving me to run the marketing department with a woman we’d just hired.

I wasn’t in favor of the hire because I was concerned that she lacks professional maturity, but now she’s my co-director and we’re making do.  They’re not replacing my manager, and there’s been no conversation about how our roles have changed or what our strategic direction forward looks like—we’re just barging ahead.  My problem is this:  She’s hardworking, cheerful, and bright—and absolutely incapable of saying “no” to any request.  Whether it’s another director, a member of the senior team, or even (not making this up) a janitor with another “great idea” for improving the web site, she’s on board and happy to make it happen.  Web cams on the roof?  Sure!  Amateur photo contest?  Why not!  Some of the projects have been great, but most just clutter up the site and create huge amounts of work for me, because she doesn’t think about how her “happy to do it” attitude drags me into hours of editing work for unproven ideas that sound like fun and then backfire in big ways.  Our more boring, but important, work falls by the wayside, and our numbers are suffering because she won’t focus on fundamentals.

We now report to someone off-site, and he’s as hands-off as can be.  How can I work with her to make her understand that we need to make decisions as a team, and that her decisions set precedents for expectations we can’t undo?

Here's my response:

I can rather picture this person.  She is very idealistic and enthusiastic, but lacks the experience and critical eye to fully understand what’s doable and what isn’t.  Working with her would probably drive me to distraction too.

But that’s not helpful, because your success in your role depends on your ability to get this co-manager to cooperate with you.  So I’d appeal to what seems to matter most to her – that people like her.  I’d take her to lunch and preface the discussion with how happy you are to be working alongside one of the group’s rising stars.  Ask her if she’s amenable to developing a system for vetting projects so that the two of you are perceived as a can-do team, the one with which everyone wants to work.

Then, lay out your suggestion.  I recommend that this include meeting semi-weekly to discuss your duo’s priorities and decide what you’re going to move forward on, and in what order.  Neither of you should give other team members definitive answers on their recommendations until the two of you have met.  This will hopefully give you a regular chance to talk her out of ideas that are not feasible, or re-direct her energies into the fundamentals you mention.  Always remain positive when discussing an idea, no matter how wacky.  Say something like:  “That sounds really fun, but given that we’ve already committed to X, I think we should revisit it.”  The less forcefully you shut her down, the more likely she is to comply.

It sounds like you may be a little older than her.   If this is the case, perhaps you can offer yourself as a mentor and she’ll begin to lean on you for more strategic direction.  At that point, you can probably be even more direct with her about the problems that can arise when expectations aren’t managed properly, and your advice will be better received.

For great answers from the other experts, have a look at the full post at Fast Track.

What No One Tells You About Getting Raises

According to Tribe HR’s  Pay Raise Index, women received more pay raises than men during 2012, but men earned larger pay raises. TribeHR analyzed salary and workplace recognition (“kudos”) data from 20,000 employees at 2,200 small to medium-sized companies between Q1-Q3 2012, and found that, 7.4 percent of women received raises while only 6.2 percent of men received raises.

Overall, the Index reported that average salary increase for employees at small and medium-sized businesses grew by almost 11 percent between Q1 and Q3 2012. The size of the average salary raise grew from 8 percent in Q1, to 13 percent in Q2, but then dropped to 11 percent in Q3.

Peer Recognition: An Under-the-Radar Influencer

More interestingly, however, the study also examined the correlation between salary increases and employees who had received documented recognition for a job well done. It found that 85 percent of documented recognition was given by peers, and that employees who received recognition from peers were two to three times more likely to earn a pay raise.

So it’s recognition from peers rather than recognition from managers that matters most.  Go figure.  In any case, it has always been important to purposefully raise the visibility of your terrific contributions within the organization.  But given this new information, it’s now essential.  If you want a raise this year or next, it’s up to you to document as much positive feedback from your peers as possible.

How do you do this?  Find out more over at Intuit's Fast Track blog.

Help! My Colleague is a Mooch!

Picture this scenario from a reader:

Recently, a new colleague has joined my team. My boss has instructed us that we have to work very closely together as a team to deliver on goals, but whenever there is a brainstorming session on she never fails to say, “I don’t know,” and I end up being the one coming up with all the ideas. I tried bringing this up with my boss, and she said I’ll have to iron this matter out with my new colleague. Is there is a way of politely telling my new colleague that she can’t always give an “I don’t know” answer and needs to pitch in and do her part?

For answers from four career experts (myself included), check out the Fast Track blog.

Too Much Honesty Can Come Back to Haunt You

Olivia had been working in what she termed “offensive” corporate environments for over 10 years, and she was at her wits end.  While working for one consumer healthcare giant in particular, Olivia was criticized for wearing clothing to cover a disability and pulled out of a major client account because her boss wanted it for himself.

Since the company’s HR department spent a lot of time and money developing a new employee survey, Olivia decided to be honest when she received it.  The intention seemed earnest enough, after all, and Olivia thought her feedback would help the company reach its goal of increased employee engagement.

In the comments section of the survey, Olivia noted the lack of empowerment among junior staff as well as the overly critical eye of management.  She cited examples of inconsistent expectations and unkept promises.

Although the survey was not anonymous, Olivia never imagined she would be called out for being insubordinate.  She received a “talking to” from her boss as well as her Group Head and was treated like a naughty child until the situation was so intolerable Olivia felt she had to leave.

The Truth?  You Can’t Handle the Truth!

It’s tempting to use company evaluations, your own performance reviews, or others’ performance reviews to express your true opinions about the organization or its people.  I urge you to use discretion, because blatant honest comments – especially when your feedback is negative – can wreck havoc on your career if they fall into the wrong hands.

For guidance on how to avoid getting in trouble due to too much honesty, have a look at my post on the Fast Track blog.

Stop Being a Victim of the Re-Org

I was at a meeting in which a c-suite executive proclaimed that her organization had experienced too much tumult lately.  This organization had decided on a new policy: managers in new positions would now have to wait a full year before changing absolutely anything.

Halleluyah.

It is well known that in the business world, people starting a new job will try to make their mark immediately, and this inevitably involves many transitions that may or may not be in the best interest of everyone involved.  Since human beings are not big fans of change, this often causes quite an uproar.

A Fact of Life

It’s good news, of course, that senior leaders are becoming more enlightened, but this does not mean that re-organizations and management upheavals are going to go away.  They are a fact of life.  And how you conduct yourself in the midst of a transition says a lot about you as an employee.  If you think about it, you have two choices: 1) you can leave the company, or 2) you can stay and add value through the transition.

If you choose the latter option, it’s critical that you are perceived as flexible, capable, and supportive of the company’s direction.  For guidance on how to do this effectively, check out my post at the Fast Track blog.

Dilbert Has Come to Your Office

A few years ago, I consulted for a Fortune 500 company on young professional development. The CEO publicly proclaimed that this incoming talent represented the future of the organization, and that nurturing it was his top priority. He put his money where his mouth was. That company spent millions of dollars creating a young professional training program that was the envy of its competitors.

The fancy training program may have impressed the young professionals when they walked through the door, but it was another story once they started their jobs and had a chance to experience the company’s culture day in and day out. The young employees complained bitterly about languishing in dead-end positions with minimal guidance for years on end. The initial bells and whistles weren’t enough to hold them. Bored and frustrated, many resigned.

This scenario pinpoints what Deloitte University executives call the Dilbert Paradox.  For a full discussion of what this means and what we do about it, check out my full post on the AMEX Open Forum.