Alexandra Levit's Water Cooler Wisdom

Want to Live the Good Life? Stop Getting in Your Own Way

Adrian Savage, an author and a retired business executive, is an older gentleman with some perspective.  He wrote an excellent post on Lifehack about giving yourself the best shot at a good life.  He offers some wonderful lessons for those of us in our twenties and thirties who constantly sabotage our own happiness by allowing ourselves to think too much about the wrong things.  Some gems of wisdom from Adrian:

Stop paying so much attention to how you feel. No one can control their emotions, good or bad. If you spend your attention on how you feel, you’ll be in a constant state of anxiety. If you feel good, you’ll start worrying about how to keep that feeling. If you feel bad, you’ll fret over how to feel better. You feel whatever you feel. Get over it. Just go on doing what you need to do, regardless of your emotions. Don’t mistake excitement for progress. It’s easy to set out in a blaze of enthusiasm, only to run out of steam long before you’ve achieved anything that is going to stick. Decide what you are going to do, then do it.

Bet on continuous, incremental improvements, not sudden breakthroughs. This is one of the biggest differences between Japanese and American ways of doing business. The Japanese tend to work away steadily at many small improvements, never making too much fuss about finding some huge leap forward. American businesses tend to favor the idea of sudden, dramatic breakthroughs. Breakthroughs are great when they happen, but depending on them is a high-risk strategy. A single breakthrough that fails or doesn’t come on time can set you back to square one. In life, as in business, lots of small steps often take you further than one or two huge leaps.

Most people get the essentials of life in the wrong order. They expect to feel good (or happy, or motivated) first; then, and only then, begin to tackle what they need to do. That makes all progress dependent on something as unpredictable and fleeting as a feeling. If you do what you need to do first, regardless of your motivation or state of mind, you’re more likely to feel better because you’ve just achieved something.

Thanks, Adrian.  May all of us try to take advantage of these lessons now, before we've disrupted some of the best years of our lives.

"The System" Has a Face

In the business world, the nonprofit world, academia, you name it, there is something known as “the system.” The system is a set of rules for how things must be done, and how people must conduct themselves. “The system” is associated with bureaucracy, and we who must work within its confines often find ourselves frustrated and angry. Depending on how personally invested we are, we may go out of our way to change it so that everyone can be more efficient, more productive, and more profitable.

Railing against “the system” also seems to be a safe way of complaining.  As long as we’re directing our ire in a general, faceless direction, no one is going to get their feelings hurt, right?  Sounds logical, except we have to remember that for every system that’s in place, there is a group of people who came up with it, and who work very hard to maintain it.  For example, your company’s human resources department likely slaved away for months coming up with that new performance management system.  They reviewed dozens of potential solutions, ultimately chose the one they thought was best, and then spent the better part of the year planning the rollout. 

When the process for your annual review goes awry, you won’t blame your boss – at least not directly.  Instead, you’ll send e-mails and tell anyone who will listen how much the new performance management system sucks. And your actions won’t endear you to the folks in HR. You might not be attacking them personally, but because that performance management is their baby, it feels like it.

If you want to keep your reputation intact, it’s wise to treat “the system” as a person you have to answer to.

Feeling Overwhelmed? Speak Up.

The summer is supposed to be the least stressful period of the year, but in most organizations today, no one can score a break from the frenetic pace – not even from June-September.  In fact, summer months can actually be more pressure-filled because more people are taking vacations, leaving fewer staff around to do the same number of projects. 

So what do you do if you’re feeling overwhelmed at work?  The first step is to tell someone.  Your managers and colleagues are not mind readers, and no one is keeping track of your time that closely.  If you don’t say anything and keep behaving like everything is peachy, they will assume that it is.  Sit down with your boss and broach the subject by saying that you’d love his or her help in prioritizing your tasks, because you don’t want to see anything fall through the cracks.  This will give everyone the perception that you’re looking out for the best interests of the organization.  You can let on that you’re feeling a little discombobulated, but watch your tone.  You definitely don’t want to come across as a complainer.

Also, when seeking help in scaling down your workload, make sure if you have a good case.  For example, if you’re taking two hour lunches because the weather is nice, leaving the office early to hit the beach before dark, or spending hours on end discussing the Sopranos finale by the water cooler, your boss isn’t going to be overly sympathetic to your plight.  But if you are known as a responsible, efficient team player, he or she will likely be very supportive.

Six Tips for Blanking on Someone’s Name

As a person who believes in the power of using people’s first names when networking in business, but who has a permanent impairment when it comes to remembering them, I found this post from Gretchen Rubin over at the Happiness Project extremely valuable. Gretchen says that there are numerous polite ways to disguise your forgetfulness, including the following:

1. The “I know your name, but I’m blocked” dodge:
“I keep wanting to call you David, but I know that’s not right.”

2. The “Of course I know you - in fact, I want all your information” dodge:
“Hey, I’d love to get your card.”

3. The “The tip of my tongue” dodge:
“I know I know your name, but I’m blanking right now.”

4. The “You’re brilliant!” dodge:
“Wow, you have a terrific memory. I can’t believe you remember my name from that meeting six months ago. I can’t remember the names of people I met yesterday! So of course I have to ask you your name.”

5. The “Sure, I remember you” dodge:
“Remind me – what’s your last name?” If you ask a person for his last name, he’s likely to repeat both names. “Doe, John Doe.”

6. The “One-sided introduction” dodge:
“Hey,” you say to the person whose name you can’t remember, “let me introduce you to Pat Smith.” You introduce the two and say the name of the person whose name you remember. Almost always, the nameless person will volunteer his or her name.

Also, remember that others might have trouble remembering your name. When you’re saying hello to someone, err on the side of re-introducing yourself. “Hi, John, it’s Alexandra Levit.” Say your name slowly and clearly. And don’t get offended if someone doesn’t remember your name, because you know how challenging it is!

How to Write the Perfect Thank You Note

On Vault.com this week, Judi Perkins offered some great advice on writing a thank you note after a job interview. I love this topic because it’s discussed so infrequently, as if people fundamentally understand that a thank you note should in fact be written, and written in a very strategic way. In reality, while you may consider it a no brainer to send a thank you e-mail or hard copy letter after a professional contact takes the time to speak with you, I’m willing to bet you haven’t given much thought to the contents of that communication.

I agree with Judi that a thank you letter serves as an additional sales piece. A fundamental rule of sales is to keep the product (you) in front of the buyer (the employer) and reinforce its benefits. Beyond the etiquette, the letter gives you ample space to comment on what you liked about the company, why your skills are of benefit to them, and how much you're interested. If something wasn't tied up, or was left unsatisfactorily, you should use the space to further address the issue.  Here’s Judi’s blueprint for writing the perfect thank you note:

First paragraph: Open with the obligatory thank you and include how you enjoyed the meeting. Say why. Maybe the people you met were exceptional. Perhaps their company philosophy was exactly what you had hoped for. It doesn't matter. Pick something out, and put it down.

Second paragraph: What took place during your interview? Pull out a piece of information that pleased you, say what it was, and tell them why.  Discuss a particular aspect of the job you find appealing and reiterate why you'd be successful at it or how long you've been performing it or how similar it is to something you've done in the past.

Third paragraph: If there was something that came up that needed clarification or about which they were dubious, address it and clear it up here.

Fourth paragraph: Wind it up. Reiterate your interest. Be enthusiastic! Leave the job speak behind. If you really want to be hired, let your genuine interest shine through.

Do You Know How to Take a Compliment?

My husband watches a lot of sports on television, and he usually sticks around for the post-game interviews. He recently noticed a common thread in these conversations.  Inevitably, a reporter will be congratulating an athlete on a spectacular play, and in response the athlete will blush, shrug his/her shoulders, and say something like: “I just got lucky” or “the other guy/team had an off night.”

We know where these sentiments are coming from.  Professional athletes make a tremendous amount of money and enjoy an untold amount of prestige, and so they want to project the image of being modest. The trouble is, by never taking credit for their own accomplishments, they are undermining their talent as stellar players, the very talent that gives them the right to be talking to reporters on national television. 

The same holds true for those of us slogging along in the business world.  Most of us have no idea how to accept compliments graciously. If someone praises you for something you weren’t in fact responsible for, then give credit where credit is due. But if you genuinely deserve the compliment, don’t deflect it or brush it off.  This will reflect negatively on your confidence, and possibly even on your performance. All you need to do is sincerely say thank you. And mentally, take a minute to pat yourself on the back. Praise in the business world can be a fickle thing, so you should savor it while you can!

Beware of Self-Centered Blogging

Lately, I’ve been hearing a lot about the presumed self-centeredness of bloggers.   The topic came up again today when I read Patricia Kitchen’s post, which said that while speaking at recent conferences, she had audience members dismissing all blogs as rants or hyper-personal minutia written by the self-absorbed.

For those of us entrenched in the blogosphere on a daily basis, sometimes it’s difficult to see the forest from the trees.  We often forget that still only a small segment of the population actually follows blogs, and that people who do are less interested in our individual goings-on and prefer instead to read high-quality advice and feature content that in fact looks suspiciously like traditional journalism.

In a post written a while ago, I said that blogging is not for everyone, and I believe that if you’re thinking of starting a blog or keeping up with the one you may already have, you should take the time to evaluate what you hope to achieve by doing it.  For example, some people may want to treat their blog as more of an online journal, including personal and highly subjective information that is meant mostly for their friends and family’s eyes.  There’s nothing wrong with this approach.

But if you’re going through the trouble of writing a blog with the goal of using it to help you become an established expert in your field, and/or a credible potential hire who’ll appear attractive to employers and recruiters, you need to realize that a professional blog is no place for baseless opinions or runaway diatribes.  My readers come to Water Cooler Wisdom expecting concrete career advice from the perspective of someone with a consulting practice that helps young employees survive in the business world.  Tough as it is for me to accept sometimes, they have no interest in hearing about my day – unless I can use the story about the crazy guy I met on the subway to make a point about career success.

Patricia Kitchen tells us that professional bloggers should never be cavalier with facts or attribution of sources.  I agree, and would also add this advice: read others bloggers in your field and cite their work so that the opinions you express are not just your own.  Think about what your readers REALLY need to know, and then scout out facts and tips that answer their burning questions. And don’t reinvent the wheel just so you can say you have a blog.  If you want to write, you’ll find that there is no shortage of already-established outlets that would be grateful for your contributions! 

Rule #1 of Salary Negotiation: Don't Tip Your Hand Too Early

Steven Rothberg at College Recruiter posted a great article from Beyond.com on salary negotiation.  I loved this piece in particular because it addresses the question of how much information to give away about your requirements before the interview. This came up recently when I was hanging out with my friend Rob, who was filling out a job application at the time. We argued for ten minutes about whether he should leave the requested salary line blank.  I said yes, he said no.

The Beyond.com article suggests that when replying to ads that ask for salary requirements or a salary history, you should not answer directly because any answer will hurt your chances. Remember that a typical ad can produce hundreds of resumes. And a fast way to make that pile smaller is to weed out applicants who are either too expensive (over-qualified) or too cheap (under-qualified). Instead, write: “my salary requirements are negotiable.”  This shows you've read the ad, but are choosing to dodge the issue. Most HR professionals and hiring managers won't take offense. On the contrary, it gives them one less reason not to call you.

I agree with this advice, and would also add that in general, you should avoid giving specific numbers until you’re well into the process, preferably until you know the organization is serious about hiring you. This goes for questions on job applications, and even those posed by recruiters directly in person or over the phone. Stall them by asking a question of your own about how much they’ve budgeted for the position. Anything to avoid tipping your hand until you have them thinking that they couldn't possibly live without you!

Nobody Cares About Titles Anymore…Or Do They?

Corporate hierarchies are out.  Organizations are flatter than ever.  Entrepreneurialism is the new best practice.  The newest college grads are railing against the establishment, saying they don’t want to “pay their dues” in order to climb the corporate ladder rung by rung, and that they want to do meaningful work right away.  And the business world is listening to them.  It seems as if the entry-level grunt is a thing of the past.

Given these changes, the tendency is to think that titles, even when you’re working within the context of a large organization, don’t really matter so much anymore.  I myself believed this, until a few months ago when I received a promotion to vice president.  I had been doing the work associated with this role for quite a while, so when I started using the new title, it was really more of a formality. 

But subtly, little things around the office began to change.  I noticed that more people actually answered the phone when I called, instead of letting me go straight into voicemail.  Executives would communicate with me themselves instead of sending their assistants to find me.  I started getting to sit in on planning meetings no one had considered inviting me to before.  And when I’d walk into my colleagues’ cube area, someone would jokingly say, “okay, everyone, back to work, the boss is here.”

It has now occurred to me that a title like vice president still carries a great deal of weight.  Despite what we might like to think, people have a certain perception of us, and treat us a certain way, based on our level.  No matter how much we know and contribute, to some extent our value and importance will always be tied to our rank – a rank which is sometimes well-deserved, and sometimes not so well-deserved. 

In much of today’s business world, a higher title means not only more money and a bigger office, but the ability and influence to get your job done more efficiently, and with less agida.  So next time you’re thinking of blowing off your performance review because you can’t see the point in advancing to the next level, maybe try looking a bit harder.  The point is there.

Job Hunting/Recruiting on Craig’s List? What Will They Think of Next?

A post by Laurie Smith over at Career Hub talks about the rise of Craig’s List as a job hunting and recruiting tool.  That’s right.  Not only can furnish your new apartment or sell your old baseball card collection on the classifieds mega-portal, you can also find your next gig, or your next star employee.

Based on a job market intelligence tidbit Smith picked up from a Career Master’s Institute newsletter, she says that many recruiters believe that the portal has surpassed Monster.com as a resource for uncovering good talent. Craig’s List's forums that span 450 cities worldwide draw more than 7 billion page views and 20 million users per month, placing it at #7 ranking, behind sites like Google, Yahoo! and AOL. More than one million new job listings are posted per month.

Smith does express some valid concerns regarding the potential for online identity theft and fraud, and suggests that candidates limit contact information, using system’s online contact mechanism and providing “real” e-mail address, phone number, street address, and name of current employer only after credibility of the person inquiring had been established.

She also points out that Craig’s List tends to cater to a particular level of jobs, namely entry to mid-level positions.  I would agree with her that if you’re looking for a VP position (or candidate), you should probably stick to more traditional executive recruiting sources for the time being.  Keep your eye on Craig’s List, though.  It’s coming up in the world.