Alexandra Levit's Water Cooler Wisdom

It's All a Matter of Priorities

Since you guys seemed to like my post on relationship laziness, I thought I’d do a follow up on prioritization.

Have you ever noticed that people generally do what they want to do?  Life is a matter of deciding what’s important, and then spending your time on that.  If you’re unemployed and it’s really critical that you get work, then you’ll treat your employment search like a full time job.  If your best friend lives across the country and you miss her, then you’ll put aside a weekend to go and visit.  If you want to get promoted to the next level, then you’ll take the time to proactively sit down with your boss and find out exactly what you need to do to get there.

I hear from people all the time that they didn’t get to something important because they were too busy, or they forgot.  For the most part, I’m not buying this.  Technically speaking, with my four jobs, I’m busier than most people I know.  Let’s be honest.  If you didn’t get to something, it’s because it wasn’t truly a priority, not because you were busy.  And if it was really valuable to you, you wouldn’t forget about it. 

I’ll admit that when you have children, life certainly becomes less about what you want to do, and more about what you physically can do.  But I still think that people with kids can find time for the things that are meaningful to them – if they are willing to put forth the effort.

Lately, I’ve observed that women are more likely to be selfless and do things they don’t want to do, out of a sense of guilt, responsibility, reciprocation, or even love.  For example, if my friend needs a crash course in social networking for a presentation he’s giving Monday, I’ll spend part of my precious weekend helping him because I feel it’s the right thing to do.  But if I ask that same friend to go to a Genesis concert with me because my husband hates the band and won’t go with me, he won’t be so quick to return the favor.  Like my husband, he’s not a Genesis fan, and also like my husband, he tends to avoid doing things he doesn’t want to do.

I don’t know if being like my husband and my friend is a good or a bad thing.  I’m interested in your thoughts.  What are the pros and cons of focusing closely on your own wants and needs as you go through life, and do you think there’s a gender difference?

If You Must Complain, Please Be Discreet

Over at Slacker Manager (which has a bunch of great new authors), managers are discussing a post from Ask a Manager.  One boss isn’t sure what to do about an employee complained about him on her blog.   Says the boss in question:

Last year, when she was applying for a job with us, the employee mentioned her blog in the course of the interview. I checked it out and enjoyed it, enough that I’ve checked in on it a couple of times since then. Today I was reminded of something she wrote and stopped by out of fleeting curiosity. I was greeted with a recent post expressing irritation at the workload she was facing while trying to get ready to go on vacation — fine, that irritates me too. But she was directly tying that predicament to me — and she was pretty snarky about it.

In my humble opinion, this employee is a little dim.  If she was thinking her blog was a good place to vent, then she needs to be reminded that blogs are in the public domain, and nothing should be said there that you don’t mind your boss (or anyone else, for that matter) “hearing.”  On the other hand, if she was simply being passive aggressive, hoping her boss would find out how disgruntled she was without having to talk to him directly, then she needs a lesson in conflict resolution.

Technology is great, but it’s no substitute for in-person relationships.  A situation like this is ripe for misunderstanding and prolonged hard feelings.  My advice to this employee would be to call her mom or her best friend if she needs to get her frustration off her chest immediately.  If being overworked is a long-term problem, though, she should sit down with her boss and proactively and positively brainstorm ways for addressing the problem.  Whining on a blog is not the answer.

Mums the Word on Politics at Work

Thanks to Lisa Cullen at Time’s Work in Progress blog for pointing out a recent survey by Harris Interactive for The Marlin Company.  According to the findings, nearly one out of four (24%) U.S. workers believe their top managers are openly expressing their political preferences at work. Those age 18 to 34 were more likely (33%) to say they have managers who made it clear which political candidates they preferred, compared to 16% of those age 50 or older.

The survey showed that political talk at work can make some employees uncomfortable. Over a quarter (26%) of those polled said they do not fit in with their company's culture in terms of politics. However, men were more likely to say they fit in the company culture, with 75% indicating so, compared to 64% of women.

The researchers found generational differences between younger and older workers regarding talking politics at work. Younger employees (age 18 to 34) were more likely to be comfortable sharing their political views (76%), compared to 64% of those age 50 or older. Younger employees were also more likely (84%) than older workers (68%) to say they were comfortable telling their boss which candidates they support.

My two cents on this: regardless of how old you are and whether you’re the boss or not, you generally shouldn’t be talking about politics at work.  A few of my colleagues learned that lesson the hard way during the 2004 presidential campaign, when they assumed that just because 80% of Chicago was voting for Kerry, they could openly Bush Bash.  Some people found themselves in hot water by offending one conservative manager.

Unless you’re best friends with the people you work with, a good rule of thumb is to steer clear of talking about anything you wouldn’t discuss with your religious officiant or your grandmother – namely, sex, drugs, and politics.  Unless you have a very specific type of job, these subjects shouldn’t be relevant, and by bringing them up you have a better chance of hurting your reputation than helping it.

5 Steps for Coping with Criticism

We all get criticized at work, and if we’re lucky, our managers and co-workers might even offer it in a constructive way.  At the beginning of my career, I didn’t do too well with criticism, no matter how nicely my boss prefaced it. I’d respond with anger and defensiveness, and sometimes I’d even deny responsibility completely.  This approach held me back.  A lot.

Over the years, though, I recognized that no one is perfect, and what separates the successful employees from the unsuccessful ones is how they cope with the information given, whether they’re able to use it objectively, and whether they can find a way to grow from it.

How do you do this?  Here are a few steps I’ve used to cope with well-meaning criticism in a productive way:

1. Depersonalize the criticism (repeat to yourself, “it’s a specific behavior that’s the problem, not me as a person”).

2. Restate the comments for clarification (“what I heard was that this behavior is not acceptable”).
3. Seek guidance (“How could I do that differently?  What change would be appropriate?”).
4. Process the input (ask yourself, “Is this criticism valid?  Am I willing to make the change to eliminate the contention?”).
5. Review your progress/seek follow up (“I’m working hard to bring about the change we talked about.  Do you have any suggestions for what else I can do?”).

Assuming the criticism is meant to help you, be sensitive to what the other person is feeling.  It was probably very difficult for her to approach you and you will score major points by trying to make her more comfortable.  There’s nothing wrong with telling her how you feel either.  If the criticism isn’t justified, say so frankly without letting your emotions get the better of you.  Remember that one individual’s opinion shouldn’t have the power to negatively impact your self-esteem.

Cautionary Tale from 30,000 Feet

One of my favorite new career bloggers, Nadira Hira at Fortune, posted a cautionary tale from 30,000 feet. Says Nadira: "I was on a 7 a.m. flight from New York to Virginia when a perfectly normal-looking, well-dressed, twenty-something man of corporate mien began chatting with his coworker in a voice only an arena crowd could love."

"He shouted the entire two-and-a-half hour flight, while the other passenger simply nodded and interjected a question now and then. The dozen or so people on the small plane shot him periodic glares, sighed audibly in his direction, and fussily draped all manner of paper and pashmina over their faces. "

Nadira learned all sorts of interesting facts, including details about ongoing high-level negotiations at his firm, the visa status of his visiting colleagues, and the salaries of just about everyone he knew. She and her fellow passengers also heard about the guy’s efforts to secure work-abroad papers and circumnavigate pesky new regulations, as well as his fascinating views on success: “I could be making $500 an hour,” he yelled, “but then I’d be responsible for s–t.”

Folks, your corporate persona, or the mature, professional and competent face you project to the world, isn’t something you turn on for the boss or other VIPs who happen to be around. Whether you’re in the company cafeteria or in the bar down the street from your office, you’re in public, and you must assume that people are listening to what you’re saying.  Always be professional and courteous, and if the information is confidential or the tone is obnoxious, save it for the privacy of your home. You never know when a top-notch reporter, or even just a regular guy with some damaging connections, is sitting next to you.

Career Lessons from J.K. Rowling

Now that "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" is upon us, Andrew over at Jobacle.com has a really neat post on career lessons we can learn from J.K. Rowling, the most successful author in history.

Use Delays to Your Advantage.  It was during a four-hour train delay between Manchester and London that Rowling first put pen to paper about a young boy attending a school of wizardry. This is a reminder that whether you're stuck on a train, jammed in traffic or sitting alone before a meeting, use this idle time to your benefit.
   
Never Accept Rejection.  Perseverance is key.  The manuscript for "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" was rejected not by one or two publishing house - but 12!  Did Rowling use a magic wand to keep herself going?  Not likely.  This is a reminder to believe in yourself and be a true Goonie: never say die.

Improvise.  Publishers did not want Rowling to use her first name (Joanne) for the fear that little boys wouldn't want to read a book by a chick.  Since Rowling only had one given name, she borrowed the "K" from her favorite grandmother, Kathleen.

Mind Your Peaks and Valleys.  Life ebbs and flows, and in your darkest moments, you must believe that things will once again turn upwards.  In the late-90s, Rowling was a recently divorced single-mom living on state benefits.  Now, she's worth over $1 billion and one of the wealthiest women in the world.  This is a reminder that your fortunes can change quickly.  Never drown in the mire when you're down or rest on your laurels when you're up.

I’ll add one more lesson from Rowling, and that’s put your efforts into building a brand, and then capitalize on that brand in any way possible. When the first Harry Potter book was a success, did Rowling move on to something completely different? No.  She started a franchise that carried her through more than a decade, a creative, ingenious franchise that people will fortunately associate with her for years to come.

Do You Suffer from Relationship Laziness?

People sometimes ask me how to sustain better relationships with the people in their lives.  My #1 suggestion is something that, unfortunately, several people I love fall down on regularly.  It’s this: when it comes to your relationship with your co-worker, friend, or significant other – pull your weight.

This means that if someone e-mails you, reply.  If they call you every now and then to see how you’re doing, respond in kind.  If they ask you to grab a drink after work or check out the new museum exhibit downtown, maybe think about pinging them the next time you’re looking for something to do.

Some believe that just because they respond positively to another’s overtures, that’s enough.  It isn’t.  People don’t want to feel that you’re talking to them, or hanging out with them, out of convenience.  They don’t want to believe that if they stopped taking all the initiative, they’d never see you again.  They want to know that you care enough about the relationship to think about it on your own and ACT, without constantly being prodded. 

You might say that you’re just too busy.  Well, we’re all busy, but at the end of the day, people make the time to do what they want to do.  It’s all a matter of priorities, and your co-workers, friends, and significant others know it.  The truth is, with all of the means we have of getting in touch these days – phoning, texting, IM’ing, even posting messages on Facebook – it really isn’t that hard to let the people in your life know that you’re thinking about them.

Workplace friendships in particular can develop into some of the most meaningful relationships in your life, but you have to be willing to put in a little effort beyond just saying hello in the hall or eating lunch together in the cafeteria.  If you decide it’s not worth it to you, that’s fine, but if it is, don’t let relationship laziness get the better of you.

Do You Know How to Read a Resume?

Most people involved in hiring have read hundreds, maybe even thousands, of resumes.  But is there any method to the madness?  If you want to give every candidate a fair shot while getting through the pile quickly, there should be.  To start, you should have your job analysis and job description in front of you when looking at a resume that pertains to the open position in question.  At the very least, you’ll need to use these materials to ascertain whether the applicant has the requisite education, experience, and hard skills to warrant further consideration.  When assessing education, remember that credentials may be exaggerated or even fabricated. 

Now, you’ll want to look for a pattern of achievement and results.  After all, you want to know if a candidate has a history of making tangible contributions to his employer.  Along with results, you’ll want to determine if the candidate’s career trajectory makes sense.  Does she move up the ladder in a predictable manner, commensurate with her achievements?  Learning starting and leaving dates, titles, and salaries is obviously useful as well.  A pattern of short-term employment or repeated lateral moves may signal trouble. Candidates will probably try to spin – or leave off altogether – unflattering information.  Your job is to read between the lines.

Last but not least, you should look carefully at the format and presentation of the document.  While the one-page rule has generally now fallen out of favor, resumes of any length should still be neat, well-written, and free of any typos or spelling errors.  Managers searching for a candidate in an artistic position might pay more attention to graphics and layout, while IT professionals should be on the lookout for concise explanations regarding how specific technical skills mapped to business objectives.

If you’ve decided not to pursue a candidate based on her resume, make sure it’s for the right reasons.  Be careful of unconscious biases you might be carrying – for example, the person is not the typical age for the position, doesn’t live in a good neighborhood, or got her undergraduate degree from your school’s archrival.  These things are simply not important compared to the candidate’s inherent ability to do the job.

Amy Jacobson's Poolside Lesson

This week, a top reporter for WMAQ-TV, Amy Jacobson, was fired after she was videotaped hanging out poolside with Craig Stebic, whose wife has been reported missing.  Jacobson told the Chicago Sun Times that she was on her way to go swimming with her kids on her day off when Stebic's sister, Jill, invited her to the house to discuss the case.  The video raised questions about the ethical conduct of the veteran journalist, who had been assigned to cover the disappearance of Lisa Stebic.

Jacobson admitted she did not handle the situation properly. "I know I made a lapse in judgment," she said.  "I know it and I apologize for it.  But I'm a competitive person and I did it to advance the story."

Also in the Sun Times, Larry Wert, the station's president and general manager, said the matter was "a complicated issue" and "a close, tough call." He praised Jacobson's work as "a valued member of the team for more than 10 years."

But he still fired her.

While it’s true that journalists tend to be held to a higher moralistic standard than the rest of us, there’s a lesson in here that we should all heed. Just because you’re not in the office doesn’t mean you can or should conduct yourself in a manner unbecoming of a respectable employee. When I visit corporations and speak to their twenty-somethings, I always tell them to watch how they act when they go out to the bar or the club together, because there’s nothing to stop some busybody from calling up the company’s HR department and reporting that a group of its employees were spotted dancing on the tables.

An effective corporate persona is the strong, mature, professional face you project to the work world, and to some extent, you should always keep it in the back of your mind when attending to your personal life.  Amy Jacobson thought no one would care what she did on her day off, and if a little business happened to get mixed it, so be it. Don’t make the same mistake. 

4 Tips for Linking Up with LinkedIn

I get a lot of e-mails asking me how people should use LinkedIn for business networking. And the truth is, I’m not entirely sure myself, which is why I’m looking forward to my friend Jason Alba’s book on the topic. This week, though, I came across a great post from Chris Brogan at Lifehack with some tips for making it easier for people to connect with you via your LinkedIn profile.

1. Add your e-mail address to your last name: For someone to connect to you without directly knowing you, they need to present your first and last name, as well as a valid email address. Make it easier by turning the last name field of your profile into your last name and then your email address. This gives folks an easier path to connecting.
2. Fill out your profile: Some people search profiles for keywords, so make sure the words you hope people are seeking when they think of you exist inside your profile. Use real captivating words up front, not like a resume or CV, but instead, like an advertisement for you, because that’s what LinkedIn is!
3. Solicit colleagues and friends for recommendations: People love to read reviews. We do it for books at Amazon. We do it for movies at IMDB or Netflix. Make sure you’ve got some great recommendations for the work you’ve performed.
4. Ask and answer questions: Using the Answers feature brings your name and profile around to people you’re not exposed to directly. This means more opportunities for someone to recognize your authority in some field, and to reach out and contact you for something further. It means sharing the fruits of your networking with others, and potentially connecting 3rd parties to each other for something bigger.

I especially like the tip that advises asking for recommendations, because think about it, it’s like a built-in reference. I have personally been remiss in getting these, because I’ve felt awkward approaching former or current colleagues. But as my friend Jim says, if you don’t ask, you don’t get!

LinkedIn is probably most valuable if you’re actively looking for a job.  I see hundreds of recruiters, HR types, and job postings on there, and I can only imagine how many candidate searches are being done a day. So take a few minutes out of your day and follow these tips. It can’t hurt!