At my college reunion, I met a prominent national newspaper editor I’ve admired for a long time. I had e-mailed her a couple of times to introduce myself over the years, but she hadn’t responded, and I didn’t want to be a nag so I let it go. When I talked to her in person, I mentioned this, and she replied, “Oh, I don’t think it’s nagging if someone contacts me multiple times. I’m so busy that it’s often the only way to get my attention.”
This was so interesting, and contrary to what I have always believed about the media. I’m still not sure that it’s true about all reporters and editors, but I’m now going to think twice about how quickly I give up when I don’t hear back from one of them. A source for my latest book just said to me: “If you don’t get something you want, it simply means you didn’t want it badly enough.” The truth is, no editor or reporter has ever accused me of being a pest. I think I created that view of myself in my head so that I would have an excuse not to persevere on a particular task.
Lately, I’ve been advocating the 3/6 rule for general networking – meaning that you should contact someone either by phone or e-mail 3 times in a 6 week period, and if you don’t get a response by the end, move on to another person. I would love for you guys to weigh in on this. What do you consider nagging, and what is appropriate follow up? Are there characteristic differences between the two?
Alexandra, I'm with you. I like to think of it as "three strikes and you're out" during that initial concentrated period. However, there's no reason you can't try again 4-6 months later when you have a new story or angle to pitch. A reporter will tell you to go away if they're really annoyed. (I do this sometimes, when people abuse my email address. And I definitely read them the riot act if they call me. I don't like phone pitches.)
Posted by: michelle goodman | November 12, 2008 at 03:46 AM
The nag-factor is probably both person and situation dependent. So I doubt if there are any hard and fast rules but your 3/6 is a good habit to build on.
If some (perhaps 50%) of these contacts are to give useful information or offers of relevant assistance then I think the nag-o-meter is probably not going to register any hits.
One point about assuming anyone you contact actually remembers you.
I finally 'grabbed' a senior person for a quick, impromptu face-2-face while I was on-site with a customer not too long ago.
I've done work for him before (through his direct reports) and he knows my name and face - but I wanted to soft pitch him directly on a possible 2009 contract. Before starting my 90 seconds "here's what I can do for you" story, I checked if he knew about my skills background in this important area.
Turns out he'd clean forgotten my specific expertise even though we've exchanged greetings and quick chats at least 4 times this year and his staff 'must've' run my profile past him before hiring me.
Lesson learned: People with hiring leverage have too many offers and names to juggle to remember them all (or at least for long).
Next time I'll come in with the rotating bow-tie or fluorescent t-shirt ;-)
Posted by: Mark McClure Coaching | November 12, 2008 at 01:48 PM
I think there is a fine line, and it depends on the circumstances. I don't think a hard-and-fast rule can apply to every situation. Another thing to consider - sometimes, your message may not have reached your target. Emails do get lost, phone messages deleted, Twitter DM are notoriously bad.
I recently sent a high-profile person something she asked me for but never heard from her. I followed up, figuring that I needed to be sure she got it. She hadn't! Turns out there is some sort of black hole between my email and her's. So, keep technology glitches in mind when considering following up. If you've emailed, try a phone call and vice-verse.
Posted by: Miriam Salpeter | November 12, 2008 at 10:58 PM
Michelle - it's comforting to know that the reporter/editor will actually tell you to go away. I've never been told to go away, so I guess I'm doing something right.
Mark - I agree that in-person contact is the best kind of all.
Miriam - modern technology, huh? I guess a good rule is one follow up once to make sure an important e-mail has actually been received.
Posted by: Alexandra Levit | November 16, 2008 at 10:57 PM