Alexandra Levit's Water Cooler Wisdom

Team Leaders Must Communicate Expectations

Team leaders, heed this warning: good upfront communication is critically important to successfully integrating a new employee into your team.

If you do not make your expectations known, and you do not provide the new team member with the information he needs to do his job well, then you cannot complain when he falls short.

They Don’t Know What They Don’t Know

New team members “don’t know what they don’t know.”  It is your responsibility as the leader to share protocols on your team and in your organization, how business is conducted with co-workers and clients, and best practices for delivering work product.   Never assume that unspoken rules should be understood by the new team member, especially if he is young or inexperienced in your type of company.  If it doubt, spell it out.

Don’t Fire Your Way Out of the Problem

Since most employers are at will, this means that if you have hiring and firing responsibilities and a new team member royally screws something up, you can let her go if you want.  In all honesty, you probably aren’t going to get sued, and it probably won’t negatively impact your career.  But if you fire someone for doing something that’s a direct result of your failure to communicate, then you should feel ashamed.

Mistakes Are Learning Opportunities for Both of You

The screw up should actually be a valuable lesson to both of you.  The team member should be provided with the opportunity to do things differently next time, and you should examine why you didn’t instruct her properly in the first place and hopefully adhere to a higher standard with your next new team member.

This post was originally published on Intuit's Quickbase blog.

I Want to Find My Passion, but I Don’t Know Where to Start

I’ve been getting a lot of mail from readers who are stressed out about not being able to find their passion.  And granted, passion is one of those abstract things that’s difficult to pin down.

According to Tom Siciliano and Jeff Caliguire, authors of Shifting into Higher Gear: An Owner’s Manual for Uniting Your Calling and Career, defining your passion involves considering:

• What do you do really well?
• What makes you unique?
• What moments in your past have proven the most memorable to you? (examples: “I can still remember shouting with excitement when I was teaching my neighbor to ride her bike and she first took off on her own” and “I recruited the kids on my block to open a lemonade stand – we made a ton of money!”)
• What do you have that the world needs?

I recommend taking an hour or two in a quiet place and considering each of these four questions.  Remember that the point is to identify what you love doing, where your energy comes from, and why. 

After you’ve done some legwork, pretend that getting a passion-oriented job or infusing passion into your current job is a school project.  Imagine that you’re being graded on how well you master the subject of your passion, and that you have to present to an instructor and class a realistic plan for incorporating it into your career.  Start by devising short and long-term goals, timelines, and deadlines so that finding and living your passion becomes a definite outcome instead of a theoretical consideration.

How to Work with Someone You Don't Like

Human beings have a variety of personality types and different work styles, which makes it impossible to get along with all of our team members all of the time.  However, unless you want your negative feelings about a certain person to suck the productivity and enthusiasm out of your work day, it’s in your best interest to control and mitigate them.

Consider the Why

Start by articulating why you don’t like this person.  Did she wrong you in some way?  Maybe her way of interacting just irritates you?   Be honest with yourself: does she really deserve your ire, or are you being sensitive, jealous, mean-spirited, etc.?

Be Empathetic

In the event that the person has earned your malice, take a minute and put yourself in her shoes.  Think about what may have happened in her life to cause her to act in a disagreeable manner.  Don’t limit yourself to the scant information you have as the person’s colleague – just because her life seems rosy on the outside doesn’t mean that’s the reality.

Look at the Whole Person

Consider what you do like about the person – a terrific work ethic, quick problem solving ability, a good sense of humor, etc.  Since only a very small percentage of the population is sociopathic, she must have some positive qualities.  You may find that once you force yourself to think about these attributes, your feelings may shift and you will genuinely like the person more.  In return, she will probably like you more and you will be able to improve the overall dynamic.

Try to Resolve Conflicts

If you’ve established an ongoing pattern of negative interactions with a team member, a confrontation may be your best bet.  Sit down with the person and acknowledge the tension between you.  Ask her what you can do to improve the relationship and see what she says.  Often, this type of discussion will shock a team member into behaving better.

If not, though, you’ve done your best.  Stay out of her way as much as you can and don’t take her style personally.  Avoid the temptation to gossip or complain about her to other team members because in the end, this will harm your reputation more than it will hers.

This post was originally published on Intuit's Quickbase blog.

Be a Self-Aware Leader

Self-awareness, which may be defined as being conscious of what you’re good at while acknowledging what you still need to learn, is one of the most underrated leadership skills.  Apparently, it’s also one of the most rare.  According to the Change Style Indicator, a research study on management styles that has been conducted for two decades, leaders are more likely to be unaware of how their behavior impacts others.  Also, in appearing as if they know everything all of the time and disguising their mistakes and weaknesses, they diminish their credibility with colleagues and reports. 

In organizational psychology research, self-awareness is often incorporated under the broader umbrella of emotional intelligence, or EQ.  Here are brief descriptions of the main components of EQ.

Components of Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

 

• Emotional Awareness: You understand the emotions you’re feeling and how those emotions affect your behavior and performance.
• Accurate Self-Assessment: You are aware of your own strengths and weaknesses, you’re open to feedback, and you learn from experience.

• Self-Confidence: You present yourself with poise and are not afraid to voice unpopular viewpoints.
• Self-Control: You don’t act on impulse but instead remain composed and focused under pressure.
• Innovation and Adaptability:  You uncover fresh ideas to problems.  You are flexible and handle change well.
• Achievement Drive: You constantly seek ways to improve results and hold yourself accountable for strong performance. You persist in your goal despite setbacks.
• Commitment and Initiative: You understand the organization’s core purpose and will make sacrifices in service of that. You are able to mobilize others and go above and beyond what’s expected of you. 
• Understanding and Developing Others: You listen well and show sensitivity to others’ points of view. You reward people’s strengths and encourage their improvement through specific feedback and strong mentoring.
• Team Building: You create like-minded groups, model team qualities like respect and helpfulness, and share credit. 
• Political Awareness: You are aware of important formal and informal relationships, who’s friends with who, and how things actually get done in the organization.
• Influence: You are skilled at gaining consensus and drumming up support for your projects. You challenge the status quo and enlist others to help implement relevant changes.
• Communication: You are able to read between the lines when conversing with others, you speak in a straight-forward manner, and you seek mutual understanding.
• Collaboration and Cooperation: You share information and resources and balance your focus on a task with attention to relationships. 
• Conflict Management: You address problematic situations proactively, bringing them to light with tact and diplomacy. You encourage open discussion and help to orchestrate mutually beneficial solutions.

It may sound like there is a lot involved in being emotionally intelligent, but truthfully a lot of these components go together, meaning that if you’re strong in one, you’ll naturally be strong in the others.  For instance, people who are strong in leadership are often equally adept in inducing change, gaining cooperation, building teams, and resolving conflicts.  Therefore, in addition to honing each component, you can employ several strategies that will help you improve your overall EQ. 

Identify the situations that cause you to lose your cool: Think about the things that routinely stress you out or make you upset and flustered – like being criticized by a client for something that isn’t your fault – and rehearse reacting in a civil manner the next time these situations come up.

Pay attention to the physical signs of negative emotion: The old adage is that men yell and women cry.  Regardless of whether or not this is true for you, be on guard for the warning signals that you’re losing control (heart beating faster, tears pricking at your eyelids, etc.).  As soon as you observe them, politely excuse yourself so that you can calm down before proceeding with the conversation.  If you’re worried about being rude or disruptive, don’t be.  You’ll look much worse if you end of making a “scene.”

Monitor nonverbal cues: Emotionally intelligent people are cognizant not just of what they say, but also how they’re saying it.  In the midst of a conversation, make sure that you’re using appropriate eye contact and facial expressions.  Position yourself next to the person you’re speaking to, but don’t get so close that you invade her space. Your tone should accurately convey your message, and smile unless you’re in the process of telling the person something she doesn’t want to hear.  You should also ensure that you accurately read others’ nonverbal cues so that if you’re not getting a good response to your message, you can quickly change your approach.

This post was originally published on Intuit’s Quickbase blog.

Maybe Getting Famous Isn’t As Hard As You Think

I know a lot of talented artists, and most of them don’t pursue their passion as a career because they don’t think anyone actually makes money.  Interestingly, in 2008, National Endowment for the Arts released a nationwide study on artists’ demographic and employment patterns in the 21st century.  Numbering almost two million, working artists are one of the largest classes in the nation, only slightly smaller than the United States’ military’s active-duty and reserve personnel.

Blogger Aaron Stanton of Booklamp.org proposes that it’s not as difficult as one thinks to make it to the top of the most desirable artistic professions.  “Let’s say, for example, that you want to become a famous actor,” writes Stanton.  “We’ll define famous as having one of the top 200 acting jobs in Hollywood.  You might think that millions of people want to become famous actors, but the truth is, as soon as you make the decision to pursue the career full time, you’re only competing against those who are doing the same.”

Stanton uses the NEA data on working artists to illustrate that if you’re a talented actor, a good networker, and decent-looking, your chances of becoming accomplished in Hollywood are better than you might expect.  “If you have the right characteristics and you stand up now, walk out of your door, and go become an actor, your odds of landing a spot in that Top 200 are 1 in 23, because so few people really do it,” he explains.  “But if you just nod, think what I say is interesting, and then close the browser and go make yourself lunch – then welcome to the millions.  Your odds are entirely determined by your next moves.”

This is fascinating stuff, and it speaks to the importance of persistence in pursuing high-profile and competitive careers. 

 

New Episode: 30/20 Vision

Join me and my co-hosts, Christine Hassler (author of The 20-Something Manifesto) and Lindsey Pollak (author of Getting from College to Career), for our next 30/20 Vision podcast tomorrow, Monday June 14, at 5:00pm EST. This month we'll be talking about our favorite sources of inspiration!

Click here to join us live or download the episode anytime.

Be the Team Member Everyone Wants

The scene from the recess playground is burned in my brain.  The captains are choosing teams for dodgeball, and my friends and I are standing in a line, nervously shifting from one foot to the other.  No one wants to be the last one picked.

Most of the time, I was lucky enough to be selected near the middle of the pack, and at the time, I didn’t think there was anything I could do to control the outcome.  Now, however, I know that when working in business, there are indeed ways I can be the team member that everyone wants.  For example, I can:

Be good at my job: Co-workers like a team member who is recognized to be the best or most knowledgeable in a particular area.  I’m always reading and taking training courses so that I’m ahead of the curve in an industry that moves at the speed of the Internet.

Be well networked: People want to work with those who will make the task at hand easier because they understand who needs to be contacted, how resources can be procured, and how approvals can be obtained more quickly.

Be a problem-solver: People don’t want to listen to complainers who constantly lament the team’s unfortunate circumstances.  They want an action-oriented member who brings a solution to the table, or at least motivates the group to devise one.

Be willing to get my hands dirty: Having too much ego, or thinking I’m above certain tasks, is a fast way to alienate co-workers.  Colleagues want a team member who will pitch in and help out with whatever needs to be done, regardless of official responsibility, and who fulfills her obligations even when it means staying late.

Be respectful: Popular team members are pleasant to be around even during times of stress.  They listen to all points of view even when they don’t agree and are diplomatic in resolving disagreements.  They ask appropriate personal questions to show that they’re interested in their fellow team members, but don’t engage in conversation that makes others uncomfortable.  

This post was originally published on Intuit’s Quickbase blog.

Job Seekers: Are You Getting the Basics Right?

Business etiquette consultant Arden Clise answers these reader questions – have a look to make sure you have all the basics covered:

Q. When meeting a potential employer for coffee or a meal to discuss the possibility of working together who picks up the tab? And how do you handle the awkwardness when the check is delivered?

A. The rule with business meals is the person who called the meeting always organizes and pays for the meal. Not only that, but the person who is hosting the meeting picks the restaurant and confirms the meeting the day before if it’s a morning meeting or the morning of if it’s a noon or later meeting. It’s best to suggest a couple of restaurants to the person you’re meeting with and let them choose.

Now to avoid the awkward check grab one thing you can do is give your credit card to the waiter or maître d’ before your guest arrives and ask them to let you sign or pick up the receipt after the meeting. If you’re not comfortable with that, let the waitstaff know before your guest comes that you’d like the check handed to you and not your guest. When the check comes simply say to your guest; “You are my guest and this is my treat.”

Q. When a business friend connects you with a possible job and you get a phone interview – how do you thank your friend for the connection?

A. Good for you for remembering to thank them. Always send a handwritten thank you note within 24 hours of someone doing something nice for you. Handwrite the envelope which should read:

Honorific (Mr. Ms., Dr…) person’s name
Company name
Address
City, State Zip

Put your name and address in the upper left corner of the envelope. It used to be you put just your address on the back flap, but to make it easier for the USPS you should put it on the upper left corner.

Q: What is the current protocol for handshakes?

 A: While it may seem like a really small thing, your handshake actually speaks volumes about you. You want to be sure it expresses that you are a confident, professional person. I saw this video about the 10 different handshakes and thought it did a good job of explaining what each handshake says about you. See if you fall into one of the deadly nine or the perfect ten.

A good handshake is one where you put your hand fully in the other person’s hand, web to web. It’s accompanied with eye contact and a smile. The grip is firm, but not bone-crushing. Both men and women shake hands the same way. Men, no need to be delicate with women, women no need to hold your hand as if it’s going to be kissed or you’re afraid to touch the other person.

Thanks, Arden, great information!

How to Collect Feedback on Your Performance

Everyone – even the most accomplished leaders – has strengths and areas for improvement.  When I talked to organizational consultant Ed Poole about professionals who rise quickly, he warned me of the danger of being “unconsciously incompetent,” meaning you don’t know what you don’t know.  You can avoid this by putting yourself in a position to objectively evaluate your performance.

This is easier said than done.  In fact, getting honest, helpful feedback from people with whom you have personal relationships can be extremely difficult.  This is because individuals who like us want to be supportive and are also afraid of hurting our feelings.

The only way you will get feedback you can use is to be very strategic in asking the right questions in the right forums, and to develop a reputation as someone who takes constructive criticism well.  Following are some suggestions for approaching superiors, subordinates, and clients/mentors

Asking Your Superiors: The annual or bi-annual performance review is a great place to begin.  Print out your last review and look at the goals and/or action steps outlined.  Then, set up a meeting with your boss and anyone else who supervises your work on a regular basis.  The goal of these meetings should be soliciting concrete feedback on your progress, and while they’re occurring, try to maintain a good balance between listening to what your superior has to say and playing an active role in the conversation.

Don’t be afraid to ask specific questions about any feedback you receive so that you know how to proceed.  Once the cycle is complete, your managers might be perfectly happy to forget about your performance until the next official review period. Don’t let them. Be proactive about setting up follow up meetings to review your progress, address potential problems, and incorporate new responsibilities and priorities.

When it comes time for your next official review, make sure your boss gives it to you. This may sound silly, but you’d be surprised how many organizations de-emphasize the importance of the official review. Remember, though, that it’s your right to request a timely appraisal. Think of the official review as an opportunity to sell your manager on your value to the company as well as collect up-to-date feedback on your performance.  To prepare, think about successful projects that demonstrate how you’ve improved in previously identified weak areas.  Also, brainstorm concrete examples that illustrate outstanding work, and practice communicating them so they’re on the tip of your tongue.

Beware of asking for superior feedback too often, for if you are in your boss’ office every ten minutes asking for reassurance on the most mundane task, he may begin to perceive you as needy and irritating.   It’s a fine line between appearing eager to learn and be guided and becoming the person your manager dreads seeing in the hall.

Asking Your Subordinates: 360 degree reviews that solicit feedback from subordinates are a terrific way to get a clearer picture of your leadership strengths and areas for improvement and ensure that your effectiveness increases over time.

A 360 degree assessment can typically be distributed to several raters of your choosing and includes a list of questions about standard leadership competencies.  If your organization has a 360 degree review process in place already, you should definitely participate.  If it doesn’t, however, it’s easy enough to purchase a commercial, web-based service that e-mails a survey directly to your raters.  Popular commercial assessments include the Leadership Practices Inventory and the Leadership Mirror.

There are a few important things to keep in mind regarding 360 degree reviews.  The first is confidentiality.  You must give direct reports the ability to provide comments anonymously or you will probably not get feedback that’s honest enough for improvement purposes.  If you only have a few direct reports (or even just one), then you might consider including peers so that individuals cannot be readily identified.

The second is follow up.  If you want your direct reports to continue to buy into the process and believe it to be credible, then you must create a specific action plan to address points of feedback that are consistent among several raters.

Asking Clients and Mentors: It’s also a good idea to periodically collect feedback from trusted individuals who work with you as clients or mentors.  For this, you might use a free online service like Rypple.  Rypple lets clients and mentors know you're looking for feedback or advice, and gives them a quick way to tell you what they really think on a particular question or issue.  Their identities are kept secret, it only takes them a minute to respond, and they don't need their own Rypple accounts.  You can then review the results and implement changes in real time.

This post was originally published on Intuit’s Quickbase blog.

Social Media is a Must for Job Seekers

Earlier this year, I had the pleasure of meeting Shama Kabani, a brilliant and personable author who has written the new book, The Zen of Social Media Marketing.   I asked Shama about her best tips about social media marketing for the career-minded individual, and here’s what she recommended we focus on:

Purpose: Build your personal brand with purpose. Want to be the next CFO? Build your profile AS a future CFO. Tweak your profiles to show your interest within the area. Before you write a status update, ask yourself – “Does this showcase my brand as an authority in the area and does it provide value to my network?”

Content: Your personal brand is defined by what you say online – and how you say it. If you are looking to build your expertise in a particular field, you must create compelling content and distribute it using the medium of your choice – blogging, video, or audio.

Community: How do you know you have a solid personal brand? When it has attracted a community around it. Employers look more and more at an individual’s social capital. Want to lead the PR department? It helps if you have relationships with bloggers and participate in social media channels.

I especially like this third point.  Anyone who wants to work in the communications field today must have a working knowledge of – and comfort with – social media.   It’s no longer a specialty or a unique skill – it’s expected.  So if you’re job searching and are not certain that your social media savvy is up to par, consider picking up Shama’s book or Chris Brogan’s Social Media 101.