Alexandra Levit's Water Cooler Wisdom

How You're Pissing People Off Without Even Realizing It

The devil is in the details. While it’s of course important to focus on the big ticket items, small, everyday interactions added together can make or break a professional relationship. Here are some things you might be doing without thinking. Stop today!

Forgetting (or never learning) personal details

When someone tells you their name, commit to it memory and use it in your next conversation. Make a note of your colleagues’ children and their names and ages. Wish your colleagues a happy birthday, and if they tell you they have something important coming up in their lives, remember that and ask about it later. Failure to do these things will keep your relationship at a purely business level, which won’t provide the rapport you need for your colleague to go the extra mile for you.

Ignoring a non-urgent request

When a colleague sends you an email, make a habit of responding within 24 hours. Even if the message isn’t a priority for you, it may be for them. Don’t be one of those people who is “bad about email.” While you may not mean any harm, this will eventually result in a loss of trust and respect as well as a vicious cycle of inattention (i.e. you ignore me, I ignore you back).

Forcing other people to ask you about status

Do your boss and colleagues have to track you down in person or nag you repeatedly about the projects you own? Even if your results are stellar and everything turns out fine in the end, giving your colleagues a few extra gray hairs wondering what the bleep is going on will not do much for your work relationships. Instead, be proactive about providing status in the manner in which your colleagues would like to receive it.

Doing something else while having a conversation

Multi-tasking is a fact of life in the twenty-first century. But people who can’t pry their eyes away from their smartphones for 5 minutes to have a meaningful interaction with another human will also not be able to count on the benefits of valuable relationships. Make sure you are both physically and mentally present when a colleague comes into your office.

For more things you're doing to sabotage your relationships, check out the full post at Intuit's Fast Track blog.

Help - My Team Always Backburners My Priorities!

When you work on a team that must collaborate on competing priorities and yours always seem to be the last to get added the “to do” list (or sprint if you’re doing Agile), how do you advocate/influence the team to give your work/tasks priority over their own? Do you just say, “OK guys, it’s been two months and I still haven’t gotten any support from team member X to finish the Acme project. Are you going to have some cycles next week?” What if they say, “Sorry, still working on the Jones project, maybe next month?”

Along with several of my colleagues at the Intuit Fast Track blog, I weighed in on this issue:

"Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m not all that surprised that your colleagues aren’t tripping over themselves to prioritize your projects. It sounds like you are approaching them with the attitude “I need you to help me with my projects,” and what exactly is motivating them to do that?

Here’s a hard truth about the business world: other people don’t care what you want or need. Human beings are selfish creatures and want to know what’s in it for them. If you need your colleagues’ assistance, you have to make them want to help you.

How do you do this? First, examine the situation from their point of view and determine their work priorities. What do they have to get done, and how are they being evaluated? Then, in your initial approach, talk about what they want and how your completed project can help them get it.

Since I don’t know what your projects are, I can’t offer you specific wording, but here’s an example from my own career. Once upon a time, my colleague Alan knew that one of my job responsibilities was to find and publish the latest Internet marketing statistics on our team’s blog. He needed my help convincing our supervisor to buy us access to a new monitoring service. While this new service would benefit Alan and his team, he knew it would also benefit me.

Here’s what he said: “Alex, I think this new service would help you research your stats in half the time. If you could mention this to Paula, that would be great.” I had no trouble supporting Alan’s cause because he had made clear that it was going to help me as well. It was a win for Alan because he got his service, a win for me because my research time decreased, and a win for the company because productivity went up!

This approach does take a bit of extra time and consideration, but you’ll more than make up for it by cutting nagging time and more quickly harnessing your colleagues’ cooperation."

For the rest of my colleagues' answers, head over to Intuit's Fast Track blog.

Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m not all that surprised that your colleagues aren’t tripping over themselves to prioritize your projects. It sounds like you are approaching them with the attitude “I need you to help me with my projects,” and what exactly is motivating them to do that?

Here’s a hard truth about the business world: other people don’t care what you want or need. Human beings are selfish creatures and want to know what’s in it for them. If you need your colleagues’ assistance, you have to make them want to help you.

How do you do this? First, examine the situation from their point of view and determine their work priorities. What do they have to get done, and how are they being evaluated? Then, in your initial approach, talk about what they want and how your completed project can help them get it.

Since I don’t know what your projects are, I can’t offer you specific wording, but here’s an example from my own career. Once upon a time, my colleague Alan knew that one of my job responsibilities was to find and publish the latest Internet marketing statistics on our team’s blog. He needed my help convincing our supervisor to buy us access to a new monitoring service. While this new service would benefit Alan and his team, he knew it would also benefit me.

Here’s what he said: “Alex, I think this new service would help you research your stats in half the time. If you could mention this to Paula, that would be great.” I had no trouble supporting Alan’s cause because he had made clear that it was going to help me as well. It was a win for Alan because he got his service, a win for me because my research time decreased, and a win for the company because productivity went up!

This approach does take a bit of extra time and consideration, but you’ll more than make up for it by cutting nagging time and more quickly harnessing your colleagues’ cooperation.

- See more at: http://quickbase.intuit.com/blog/2014/06/03/my-team-constantly-back-burners-my-priorities/#sthash.HrCUcat7.dpuf

How to Be Useful Instead of Salesy

When I took the Dale Carnegie class many moons ago, I remember the instructor saying that the worst thing a door-to-door salesperson could do is show up at a prospect’s house and launch into a speech like this:

“I want to sell you a new vacuum cleaner. I saw this thing pick up dirt off my floor, and it had the best suction I’ve ever seen. I can give you a great deal on this baby.”

I, I, I. This salesperson would be lucky if she didn’t have the door slammed in her face.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again

Here’s a cardinal rule of human nature: people don’t care what you want, they want to know what’s in it for them. If the salesperson wanted to sell a vacuum cleaner, she had to first find out why the prospect desperately needed one (e.g. he was feeling frustrated and inferior because his home was unkempt, and it was unkempt because he could never get his carpets completely clean). She had to first help him identify a problem. Then and only then could she present a solution (e.g. a vacuum cleaner with more powerful suction).

Bestselling author John Jantsch has long been teaching how to be effective on a shoestring budget, reminding us of common sense that’s uncommonly used. In his new book, Duct Tape Selling, he agrees with one of my favorite mantras that we’re all salespeople. And John suggests that in trying to get people to do anything for you – whether it’s supporting a pet project or buying a vacuum cleaner – you have to be useful.

The pitch transformed

According to John, the traditional sales pitch is no more. Instead, listening carefully is the new prospecting. With so many online tools available, we have no excuse for approaching people with little or no knowledge about them. So if you want something from a colleague, manager, or client, find out where her head is at first. And think through a message that will directly align with that state of mind.

For the rest of John's advice, head over to Intuit's Fast Track blog.

Stamp the Cynicism Out of Your Office Culture

One of my first managers used to say a bad attitude in the workplace is like cholera. Once one person gets it, unfortunately, it spreads like wildfire before taking down the original source. And over the years, I’ve seen one coworker’s negativity significantly affect the culture of an entire team. In another small-business case I heard about recently, in which the CEO himself possessed a bad attitude, the staff became so demoralized that the entire company went under.

As the publisher of Forbes, Rich Karlgaard has seen it all, and he felt that employee cynicism was enough of a problem to write a whole book about it. In The Soft Edge: Where Great Companies Find Lasting Success, Karlgaard says, “Mocking irony, snark, and cynicism are very much in vogue, but they are also toxic to your company’s culture.”

People view cynicism as less harmful than overt negativity, and that’s part of the problem. “Cynicism trivializes the gravity of bad behavior and normalizes superior attitudes toward customers and, often, coworkers,” Karlgaard says. “But it’s also a red flag that something is awry in your company.”

According to Karlgaard’s work, what’s missing is trust. “Cynicism is the defense mechanism of people who feel unsafe and powerless. It’s an expression of the uncertainty that comes from working in an environment where ethics are lax, employees don’t feel valued, and information is withheld,” he says. 

Indeed, employee trust in companies has declined over the last few decades. The 2014 Edelman Trust Barometer study, which surveys the trust and credibility of government and business, reports that in North America, only 43 percent of people trust CEOs. In fact, CEOs are the least trusted spokespeople, sitting only above government officials.  

Karlgaard hypothesizes that efforts to boost employee trust will naturally result in a decrease in cynicism and negativity. How can you build trust within your organization?

Understand that trust is both internal and external. First, there’s the external trust between an organization and its customers. Will a company stand behind its products? If something goes wrong, will it do the right thing? The second dimension is the internal trust between employees, managers and top-level management. Do leaders keep their promises? Can employees speak up without censure? Generally, what’s true externally is also true internally.

Develop a vision of a trusting culture. Hold a company-wide summit at which everyone can share opinions about what a trusting environment looks like. Include an anonymous component like a suggestion box or online survey. Get everyone’s input, from the C-suite to the custodian. Your goal should be to pin down exactly how a culture of trust translates to leader and employee behaviors. Then, come up with a list of rules, such as “I will not badmouth customers to other employees,” put them in writing, and get all your employees to sign the document.

For more tips, please see the rest of the post at the AMEX Open Forum.

 

How to Cope When Your New Job Is a Bust

According to a new survey by staffing firm Robert Half, 41 percent of workers said the role they accepted at a company was different than what had been outlined to them during the interview process.

If you find yourself in this situation, what’s the most productive way forward? To gain insights into this unfortunately common scenario, I tapped Paul McDonald, senior executive director at Robert Half.

Paul, from the company’s perspective, why might a job not be what was originally intended? Where is the disconnect?

Companies don’t set out to trick candidates who might not be a good match for the position. Sometimes the needs of the company may change during the hiring process or soon after an employee joins the team. A project may change, goals may shift, team resources may vary – and or all of these could impact a new hire’s job duties.

Or…the company didn’t really know what it wanted in the first place! If you are a new employee and you’ve realized after a few weeks that your actual job is nothing like it was described in your interview, what is your immediate recourse?

Request a meeting with your manager to review the job description as it was discussed in the interview process, as well as your goals and expectations of the role and how they differ with reality. Your manager might be able to address your concerns and adjust your duties. Many times, professionals don’t address things that are bothering them at work, which lowers their morale and makes the situation worse.

For more advice from Paul, check out the full post at Intuit's Fast Track blog.

Career Learnings from Kindergarten

Some of you know that my firstborn is six years old and in kindergarten. He’s learning all the basics – how to add, how to read, how to tie his shoes. But he’s also mastering some great lessons that it would behoove all of us to remember as we slog through the work week and attempt to advance our careers. Here they are: in my son’s words:

 “Always try to do it yourself before you ask the teacher.”

The kids in my son’s class, especially the boys, have challenges putting their coats on and getting out the door at the end of the day. Yet, they are required to work their zippers themselves or ask a classmate before going to the teacher. Similarly, at work you should exhaust all avenues for resolving an issue on your own before taking it to your boss.

 “You have to show what you know.”

There is a lot going on in the head of a kindergartener. It’s difficult, though, for them to translate what they’re thinking to what they’re writing – and if they don’t learn this skill quickly, they will score lower on assessments than they should. It’s the same thing in the professional world. You will not get ahead unless your stellar work is visible to the right people.

“You can only get good at something if you practice hard.”

At the beginning of the year, my son could barely hold a pencil correctly. He despaired, thinking he’d never be able to write. But after months of drilling sentences every day at school, his handwriting is fantastic. He has learned that practice makes great (if not perfect). The next time you expect yourself to be an instant pro at a new work skill, remember Malcolm Gladwell and the 10,000 hours of practice required for proficiency.

For the rest of my son's kindergarten lessons that apply to us at work, have a look at the full post at Intuit's Fast Track blog.

How to Get Over Stage Fright

According to WebMD, millions of people suffer from performance anxiety, commonly called stage fright. In fact, most people would rather get the flu than perform. Performance anxiety can prevent you from doing what you enjoy and can affect your career because people who cannot speak in public are not considered promotion material.

The Symptoms of Presentation Stage Fright

Being the center of attention and having all eyes on you can be stressful, especially if you are an introvert. Your body reacts to this situation in much the same way as it would if you were being attacked. Your body’s “fight-or-flight” mechanism kicks in, which is why symptoms of stage fright are similar to symptoms that occur when you are in real danger. They include:

• Racing pulse and rapid breathing
• Dry mouth and tight throat
• Trembling hands, knees, lips, and voice
• Sweaty and cold hands
• Nausea and an uneasy feeling in your stomach
• Vision changes

Although it may be impossible to totally overcome performance anxiety, there are things you can do to control your emotions and reduce anxiety. Some are more obvious, like breathing deeply and knowing your material cold. Here are a few you might not have thought about.

The Cure for Presentation Stage Fright

Give the Stage Fright a Deadline

A mentor once suggested to me that I acknowledge my fear of giving presentations – to a point. I was allowed to be nervous in the hours leading up to each event, but at the moment I was being introduced, I was to say: “time’s up.” It was then that I allowed my confident side to take over. It took a few events of practice, but my mind eventually got the hang of it.

Pack your Schedule

When you’re very busy, you don’t have time to worry about how miserable you might feel. So on the day you’re due to give your remarks, schedule as many meetings as possible so you are running from one thing to another right up to the time you’re up to speak. Being frazzled can actually work in stage fright’s favor.

For more tips, please see the full post at Intuit's Fast Track blog.

A-Z Retention Strategies from Beverly Kaye

Since employees who quit cost their companies up to 200 percent of their annual salaries to replace, retention is one of the most important issues facing businesses today. Virtual employees are especially vulnerable to retention issues because they often lack the camaraderie that’s present in an in-person environment.  Adapted from the new edition of Beverly Kaye and Sharon Jordan-Evans’ bestselling book Love Em or Lose Em, here are 26 A to Z strategies you can employ right away to keep your virtual team members from quitting this year.

Ask WHAT KEEPS YOU?

Do you know what your virtual employees want from their careers? Never assume. Since you don’t have the benefit of face-to-face communication, you’ll be wrong.

Buck IT STOPS HERE

Your virtual employees are every bit as much of your responsibility as your in-office employees. It’s up to you to make sure they are engaged and want to stay.

Careers SUPPORT GROWTH

Don’t confuse virtual employees with short-term, hourly employees. They need viable career paths too. Facilitate these. Don’t ignore them or get in the way of professional development.

Dignity SHOW RESPECT

Do your virtual employees know that you value and appreciate them? Ask yourself honestly if you are taking them for granted because you don’t have a strong in-person rapport.

Enrich ENERGIZE THE JOB

Are you constantly challenging your virtual employees, or is it the same old, same old? Make an effort to take things up a notch.

Family GET FRIENDLY

Even virtual employees can have work/life integration challenges. Don’t force them to choose between work and loved ones.

Goals EXPAND OPTIONS

Your virtual employees might not be interested in moving up, but they should have some forward-thinking goals. Take the time to help them develop and execute these.

Hire FIT IS IT

Take care to hire people upfront who will not only be successful virtual employees but who will also be a strong fit for your culture.

For the rest, visit Intuit's Fast Track blog.

The Right Way to Make Connections on LinkedIn

LinkedIn, which years ago was known as Facebook for old people, is now the top social network for professionals. It boasts more than 200 million users and is used by the majority of the Fortune 100. If you’re not on it every day, you need to be. And there are some tricks to making connections on LinkedIn.

When I was new to the business world, you had to attend in-person networking events to meet anyone. But then, along came the marvelous invention of LinkedIn, and suddenly you can interface with an exponentially larger number of contacts in a fraction of the time.

There is, however, a right way and a wrong way to meet new contacts on LinkedIn. Here are a few dos and don’ts.

Don’t wait for people to find you.

Although this will happen eventually, it’s much more efficient to proactively connect with people by searching for former colleagues and business associates (the search function is on the top of every page). When you start typing a person’s name, a list of potential connections appears. You can also find connections by perusing the “People You May Know” section, as well as your current connections’ profiles.

For more where this came from, have a look at the full post at the FlexJobs blog.

How to Manage Your Micromanager

There are few types of managers more annoying than the micromanager. A micromanager is someone who has her hands in every detail of your daily responsibilities, refusing to grant you the slightest bit of autonomy and allow you to make any strategic decisions. She tells you how to do your job, when, and where. Here are a few ways to deal with a micromanager.

Bosses usually micromanage for one of two reasons—either it’s their natural inclination and they treat all of their reports this way, or they only treat a certain employee this way because they don’t trust that person. If you have a micromanager, what can you do to win some freedom?

Evaluate Yourself First

The first step is to take a close look in the mirror and ask yourself if you’ve given your boss a valid reason to watch you like a hawk. This includes having no self-discipline, treating deadlines as optional, and making the same mistakes over and over again. You should make an effort to improve in these areas before approaching your manager about granting you more leeway.

For more tips, please see the full post on the FlexJobs blog.